In their shoes …

Children living in poverty need protection from neglect and abuse in all its forms, but as the effects of the HIV/AIDS epidemic strip away the physical and emotional structures of families and neighbourhoods, we find children, single or in groups, striving to maintain stable and safe households.

Because children are both highly sensitive to and resourceful in the face of these issues, their ideas, insights, talents and responses are vital to a greater understanding of how the epidemic infiltrates and undermines families and communities. Their views make us laugh, cry, angry, desperate, but even in the worst conditions, they can be – and can make others – happy. Adults hardly ever realise how much children see, hear and know. We usually presume that we know the answers because we are older, but children are well able to assess situations and make practical plans to improve their own lives. We all need to hear the wisdom of children.

For this reason, we introduce in this issue of SONDELA a new, regular column called “In Their Shoes …” to share with you the voices of children describing a range of experiences around HIV and AIDS - some being directly affected, and others observing its impact from different angles.

In this first article, some such young voices from KwaDukuza have been recorded by 10-year-old Siphelele Ndlovu, whose own story was published in November in a 34-page booklet called “Babiza’s Story”. This project has been led by Jill Kruger, HIVAN’s Deputy-Director of Social and Behavioural Sciences, and has been designed to give children the space to spread their light and remind us of the Child within all of us. The dual-language (isiZulu and English) book is the result of a partnership with MIET (Media in Education Technology), the Mariannhill branch of Street-Wise and the Sinikithemba AIDS Care Centre at Durban’s McCord Hospital. It is funded by UNESCO and the First Congregational Church of Old Lyme, and is the first in a series called “By Children for Children”.

Boy, 12 years => The first time I heard about HIV and AIDS was when I was 10 years old and I heard people talking about “this dangerous disease” in a shop. I had been sent by my mother to buy bread. There were many people; some were men and some were women. They were arguing. Some were saying: “There is nothing like this”; others were saying: “Yes, there is. It’s a dangerous disease”.

I did not know what this disease was. I asked my parents what it was that night and they told me about it. I was interested, but I didn’t know if this thing was true or false. Since then, I have heard about it at school in Life Orientation and there are posters warning people about this disease. Boys and girls can get HIV if they have sex with no condom. They can also get it from the blood of someone who is infected if they have a cut. Children can worry about HIV and AIDS. Maybe their parents or the people they love have it and they don’t know. The way that people who have the virus are treated, makes people not want to tell if they have got it. People insult each other, using HIV. They say: “Get away from me; you are HIV-positive”, even if they are not. I don’t know anybody who is HIV-positive.

Girl, 14 years => I found out about HIV when I was about 11 or 12 years old. It was the time of Nkosi Johnson. He was always on TV. My dad told me about AIDS and then I began to understand. We don’t really do HIV and AIDS in school. I see more on the TV. Sometimes when people die they put it on TV that it was from AIDS. I also saw about HIV on Soul Buddyz. I knew one man with AIDS. He passed away last month. He was my dad’s best friend. A friend of mine told me afterwards. Then I asked my dad about it and he told me it was true. Girls and boys are not into HIV that much. They don’t really discuss it. They can get HIV by touching people who are HIV-positive and if the blood of the two persons touches. Babies can also have HIV if their mothers have HIV when they are born.

Boy, 14 years => I can’t remember, it was when I was about 11 years old, people on the streets, on TV, in newspapers — they were all talking about it. I didn’t know what it was. I just heard it was a very dangerous virus. The way I felt when I heard about it, was sad. I was interested, but not chasing to find out about it because I didn’t know what it was. Then in 2003, I knew exactly what it was, because they showed a person who is sick with AIDS in the news on TV. Also in 2003, I learnt about HIV and AIDS at school, but it did not give me a feeling for what it was about, like I had when I heard the people talking on the street.

Children have a fear that being HIV-positive can happen to anyone, also that they
can become HIV-positive. Boys think about HIV and AIDS more than girls. Girls are shy and can’t just start in to talk about it. If kids are friends, they hear different stories and then they share these stories and start talking to each other. If an adult has HIV and has not told a child, this can give the child a great shock when they find out and the child can even collapse. Children think that people who are HIV-positive will die soon and that’s not true, and the person who has HIV might be close to the child, so the child could be very fearful.

Girl, 14 years => Round about the time I was 11 or 12 years old, we had certain lessons at school about this disease called HIV. That time there were people talking about this disease, at home, in town, roundabout, but I didn’t understand. A lot of people in our country had it. At that time I knew all diseases can be cured. But then I found this one couldn’t be. I know seven or eight people who are HIV-positive. Not everybody knows about it. Some people – family members – neglect them in case they get infected themselves from being with them or touching them. Others help family members who are infected, so they can get support and live a healthy life. There’s these two things: neglect or support. That’s how people with HIV are treated. I can say to infected people: “Try and spit it out. Not talking about being HIV-positive affects the people who are close to you. Speaking out can help. You wouldn’t know if the people close to you would like to give you support.” Children with parents who are infected wonder what’s wrong. You can’t just say you’ve got a cold, or something. When your parent is sick, you worry a lot because parents keep it to themselves and get stressed out; then their blood cells decrease and they get very sick and that worries the children. Children can get HIV. Firstly while playing around. Maybe one gets cut and the other one gets blood contact and you wouldn’t know it. Secondly, boys who inject themselves with drugs can get HIV. Kids find things like syringes lying around, play with them. They can get HIV when they hurt themselves with things that have HIV in them.

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